


Mistakes

by GhostGarrison



Series: Dragon Age Tumblr Fics [4]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Ficlet, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 18:46:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17028045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostGarrison/pseuds/GhostGarrison
Summary: Anders accidentally calls Hawke the wrong name. Too many times.





	Mistakes

It’s happened so many times that he should be used to it. But Hawke has a feeling he never will be. He understands that Karl was Anders’ first love–someone so special Anders had fought his way across Ferelden and the Free Marches for, risking templars, tranquility, and even death. 

Even so, it hurts every time.

The first time it was the evening of Karl’s death, (in)appropriately mourned at the Hanged Man and everyone justifiably had one too many ales that taste of sorrow. Hawke helped his stumbling new ally back to his home–a decrepit dingy hole in the sewers that isn’t fit for living creatures other than the rats. “Thank you, Karl” Anders breathed, soft and wistful like a sigh as Hawke lowered him onto the nearest cot. At the time, Hawke thought nothing of it, only felt his heart sink that he couldn’t have helped save the tranquil man.

The second time is just a little while after they got together, they’re both wine-drunk in front of the fireplace at Hawke’s luxurious new estate. They’re warm, inside and out, from sharing too many bottles of the best Kirkwall had to offer. Hawke began, “hey, love–?” and the dozing mage in his arms mumbled “mm yes, Karl?” Brown eyes turned to face him, but the mage was already asleep. A mistake, Hawke tells himself, just a simple harmless mistake.

The third time, Anders is so drunk it seemed impossible. Justice has gained more & more control of the man over time, no one was even sure if he could get drunk anymore. Anders had almost killed an innocent girl and it seemed both spirit and mage wanted to forget the mistake. He clings to Hawke in bed that night, hands all over, seeking affection and affirmation that things are okay, that he’s okay. The name slips from his lips so easily, but at least Anders noticed this time. He quickly apologizes and Hawke forgives him, silently stashing the pain away in a building pile in his heart.

The fourth, fifth, and sixth times make Hawke consider hiding some of the kitchen’s wine bottles, turning down a few invitations to the Hanged Man. Not because he doesn’t think Anders can handle himself and his liquor, but for his own sake. The ghost of Karl haunts them both, and while Hawke would give his life for Anders, he isn’t sure he’s able to do that for the man he’s never truly met. Anders doesn’t remember what he said the next morning and Hawke doesn’t tell him.

**Author's Note:**

> saving this from the tumblr purge of 2018
> 
> find me there and on pillowfort @ storybookhawke


End file.
